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Apr 20, 2023Liked by Kyle Imes

Excellent piece. Some disconnected thoughts I had while reading:

This is why Paris is Burning is cool but RuPauls Drag Race is lame. Or why the Ramones are cool but Simple Plan is lame. Or the first time you saw someone do a choreographed dance during wedding party introductions it was cool, but the 100th was stupid and cringy. Its why Comicon in 2002 is very different, culturally, than Comicon in 2023. Or why saying "Im a nerd, I love Star Wars" means something very different in 2023 than it did in 1983. "Normalizing" definitely ruins things. I am not one for "authenticity" (its what I hate most about the Punk Music scene), but there is definitely something lost when a subculture becomes part of the main culture.

I think we have all experienced being interested in some topic or hobby that isn't popular that then gets popular and having a strong negative reaction to this popularity. Seems to me this is a personal, localized, example of what you are describing.

I was also reminded of the society described in The Giver. Yes the society regularly euthanizes infants and the elderly for population control, but thats pretty tame for sci-fi distopias. To me the worst part of the society was how *boring* it was. Absolutely nothing interesting about it. Pleasant to an extreme, like eating sugary foods all day everyday. You just can't live that way.

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Totally. Those are all great examples. I would push back on the punk comment just to say that any bands or fans talking about "authenticity" are probably of one of the later waves of the scene. Things got a little puritanical and rigid when hardcore came around in the 80's, which I agree sucks. But the first wave was way more eclectic and beatnik.

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I am apparently the only person on Earth who is absolutely delighted whenever some niche interest of mine becomes popular. It means it's easier to find people to talk to about it, and that it's easier to find merchandise associated with it.

I spent years adoring continuity-filled epic superhero crossovers, the advent of the MCU was incredible. I loved anime as a kid and now it's everywhere. The fact that it's "normal" isn't what's awesome about it, what's awesome is that there are more people to share it with.

I wonder if the reason it delights me is that I am primarily interested in niche things for themselves and don't really use them to define my identity. If they weren't niche they'd still be interesting, I just happen to be interested in stuff that other people aren't.

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"I wonder if the reason it delights me is that I am primarily interested in niche things for themselves and don't really use them to define my identity."

I've seen the exact opposite of this logic more than a few times: people who strive for a "thing" to be more widespread precisely because they associate widespread acceptance of the "thing" with widespread acceptance of them as people.

People who like slightly nerdy things but don't want to be stigmatized with the connotations of nerdy-ness is a fairly common example.

"I am apparently the only person on Earth..."

I get the feeling you're probably in the silent majority. I suspect it's one of those cases where the internet gives a skewed impression because people are more noisy when they're reacting against something.

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When I used to teach undergrad film studies I'd use Todd Haynes' (remarkable and brilliant!) 'Poison' for the week on queer theory... I found the undergrad students increasingly wanted to write about films like 'Love Simon' or 'Call Me By Your Name' etc. and... I basically felt they were LGBTQ* or gay cinema, but not really transgressive enough to be //queer// cinema. At the same time, I felt that only being bisexually leaning and in long-term relationships with, largely, women... I had less authority that the 18-year-olds who often used different pronouns and identified themselves openly as belonging to an LGBTQ* identity... though they largely liked Marvel and Disney and Star Wars.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about this overall lack of counterculture, and as someone too young to have been involved with punk or goth or metal scenes before they got mainstreamed, it leaves me in a weird place where I don’t know how to rebel when there are no cultural signifiers for me to use. The main form of visible counterculture now seems to be the LGBT aesthetic (which is adopted by a subgroup of the LGBT community, and not by most of the gay or trans people I know). Dying your hair, piercings, dressing subversively etc is increasingly associated with LGBT youth. The frustrating thing is that rather than trying to be subversive, the desire seems to be for normalization. So how do you express your distaste and subvert mass culture when the arbiters of mass culture (liberals) who were formally “the squares” have been trained to have a sympathetic eye toward visible “counterculture.”

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Yeah, I'm not exactly sure where to go from here, but you nailed the problem. Normal culture and counterculture are necessarily in opposition to each other. The greedy attempt to have it both ways with emotional appeals of inclusivity and destigmatizing feel to me like a power grab for total cultural dominance more than anything else. And fuck them if that's the case. I wanna be stigmatized.

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It's the same in every subculture. I think gay marriage was a splitting point in the queer community; the assimilationist "white picket fence and 2.5 kids" faction won out over the "queer as in fuck the system" side. So now the punk-ish can't/won't fit in crowd is stuck on the fringes of the movement they kept alive for decades, unsure what to do. Meanwhile the now-"normal" crowd is trying to legitimize all the less-photogenic sides of the community by pretending it's all perfectly natural, always been that way...of course there's always been 36 genders, the evidence just got hidden by the patriarchy...

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>don't bring your kids to these events. Problem solved.

I think the broader fight is not one this sentiment is a solution for. Increasingly some of these views and cultural practices conservatives are very uncomfortable with are popping up in places situations where they don't expect them or the norm is to overall be less provocative (public schools/libraries/etc.)

If you don't like it don't go, is a good response to someone complaining about DQSH or DEI nonsense at the local Pride Parade, or at the Democratic Dads of Dallas mixer. It is another thing entirely at a supposedly non-partisan "normal" day care of public library.

For example I took issue with my children's daycare having a (very milquetoast) prayer at lunch, and a regular pledge to the flag. Those were cultural practices I didn't like, and I let the daycare know, and I spoke out against them when appropriate or they asked for feedback. But all told I figured it was worth it to go there.

Similarly I absolutely would take the same actions against DQSH if it made an appearance there, except in that case I would be held up as some intolerant bigot.

>whose sole purpose is to defy and reject the idea of what normal is in the first place.

~80% of this movement is literally about the some portion of teenagers want something to really piss off their parents/society about, and there is tolerance now of kissing boys, and blue hair, and tattoos. So now you need to want your tits cut off. Its the next frontier in being a moody, self-centered asshole. But even worse than tattoos because the changes are even more permanent (yes tattoos are mostly quite dumb).

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Teens have been individuating as long as there have been teenagers...and parents have been bitching about it. And, just as then, the quickest way to make yourself different is to quit acting like The Man. Now that the teenage years span practically a decade and they're a whole portion of the consumer base, of course they do more.

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I've always thought the whole "teens are just doing this to piss off their parents" meme must have been thought up by some very narcissistic parents who think their kids lives and thoughts revolve around them. "This person did a thing that made me upset, therefore they must have upsetting me as a terminal value" is a rather self-absorbed way to think.

I mean, I've occasionally enjoyed getting negative attention from other people, but I've never just done something for that purpose. Rather, I do things because I enjoy them or am fascinated by them, and lean into it when I notice they shock people.

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How old are you? For sure a lot of teen behavior is driven by wanting to be transgressive. Which is natural, in the wild they would be striking out on their own or fighting for dominance of the tribe. Instead they are asked to eat shit and wait their turn.

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This is a smart explanation, and I like it. I often wish conservatives could embrace what appears from outside the core argument. In this case, rather than maudling about harm to children I'd appreciate a simple statement such as "these people are weirdos and should be dealt with appropriately." It might not mark a person as 'one of the good set' to want to punish others for being different, but after all one is in good company: every previous society did this as much as it had power to do.

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Also, I get a general impression coming from the "normalize/affirm/accept" trend that there is a need to liberate people from having to start cool subcultures in the first place. As if every punk, drag queen, and adult-diaper fetishist actually just wants to be normal, but is so ruled by their impulses to be different that they can't help themselves. It's a little insulting to the meaning and power of self-expression.

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Zizek makes a great point related to this, which is that in the trans debate both sides are in an unholy alliance: people who pretend that Freud never existed and that human desires are all perfectly legible and straightforward.

Would dressing up like a woman be fun if everyone did it? Would tattoos be fun if everyone had to get a new one every year in time to show it off for class pictures? Etc.

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It is also just wrong about the motivations of the vast majority of these people, who if these decisions were fully affirmed/accepted, would lose interest in them.

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Yeah, it's a tricky argument to make because it sort of requires defending the stuffy parts of society that I often disagree with. But no movement that I love, the punk scene being just one, would exist without the other. It actually isn't that hard to admit..

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There is value to square culture actually being square.

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Well said.

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